Always in the middle.

Let me first just say that this, here...this is my middle man. This post isn't really about him but I loved this picture. I love it when he gets goofy on me because there's also a serious part of him that the brothers tend to bring out more than the goof.

When I was a little girl, my parents had this yellow Datsun pickup truck that I'd always get stuck with sitting in the middle, between the two of them; and I didn't like it much because, well, I like my space. I kind of need it, and they'd sing torture songs to me about having to sit in the middle {it's all in good fun...but still, I didn't like it} hahaha

This morning, I read this thing that was posted on Facebook - here, let me show you:

Now, I know...it's getting a bit risky throwing something like this up and I'm not a risk taker or a finger pointer, either. I'm just not a conflict kind of person...don't like...don't need it. When I read this, I said...hm, like yeah, I can see where they got that one, oh and maybe that one. Really, though...I kept waiting to find my category and it wasn't there. I'm not in any of those religions. Again, which brings me back to that same old question that they asked me once upon a time at the hospital...."What religion are you? We need to know because if anything were to happen, who would you want to come to pray with you?"

I told her that I was a Christian. That was good enough for me but not for them, because, just like this little poster thing...Christianity falls under a few areas, right? Yeah. Here's the thing, I see no reason to call myself anything other than one who loves Christ. I told her that, to me, the one praying for me needed to know and love Christ. But...if you must, you'd probably fit me in with the Pentecostal/Charismatic's {which also do not really have a base of organized religion, but get together in non-denominational churches who accept everyone - WHO ACCEPT EVERYONE - AND...as you can see, are also not shown on this list}...this might make some people annoyed when I say it, but I think that we're not on the list because we're just waiting for the day that we aren't stepping in shit anymore, while trying to hold another's hand, guiding them from stepping in it, too {that's what I think it would say if were were}. Oh the shame of me saying something like that....

Really though, everyone has different levels of understanding and ways of learning, correct? I believe that's partly why there are many different organized religions, as well as, in the other areas of the world - the traditions of family and such. To me, the most important understanding there is....is the one that brings you to a quiet place of 'one on One with God', reading His Word, talking to Him and listening to His Spirit. Who cares what we call ourselves, if there is no evidence within? I don't believe that it's necessary to tell everyone that we know that they're doing it wrong. I think that if someone's belief and understanding of God seems differently than ours...and it nudges us the wrong way, then maybe what we really ought to do is pray first. Pray for them. God wants nothing more than to reach into our soul and teach us more about Who He is. He's not looking for conflict, do we not understand that?

I'm not going to pretend that I am all fixed up, inside and out, He knows that I'm not and why should I try to make the world think it? For crying out loud, people just need to be okay with being real. Honestly, it's the heart that opens up, unafraid to spill it all out to Him, that He can show Himself to.

Here's the thing. I know that God is right here, living inside of me by way of His Son. The Holy Spirit is Life, Breath...truly living. Knowing this enables me to be free with who I am, even when I say or do stupid things. God teaches me from the inside, gives me strength when I need it.

I'm always amazed at the people who think that I do nothing wrong, that I couldn't possibly get angry or swear or even raise my voice. Who do they think that I am? Really, I am human - made of flesh, with a love for God. Loving God, being forgiven, understanding who I am in His eyes - doesn't make me any less human. It makes me full of a desire to know Him more, love Him more and bring understanding into this world of Who He Is to me. Yeah.

I would never want to do anything that would push others away from Him, not ever. I'm not a bully, I'm not going to hurt someone by demanding to them that they've got it all wrong; that their way of life is sinful. I know, Jesus was able to say such things, but never was He looked at as being a bully and if we remember, HE WAS WITHOUT SIN. There's a difference between Jesus and us, even though His Spirit resides within us, we're still sinful in the flesh. We've all got it wrong in some area or another. Just that some of us know it and feel a need to be loved by Him because we're able to see His unconditional love for us. Yeah, again.

So, with all of that...I get back to the title of this batch of writing. Always in the middle. I'm 100% when it comes to trusting God, understanding that we don't know everything there is to know, even the greatest of Biblical Scholars or Scientific Geniuses for that matter. People think they know and when they do, they shove it at others. When it comes to that, I'm in the middle. I know what I know because God has worked in my life and has enabled changes through every path I've taken. I read my Bible and He opens my ability to understand Him through it. I don't believe that it gives me the right to point shame.

What I'm saying is that you can't put me in a category, so please don't try. I am a child of God, who loves Him. And, this child believes in the best. I know that God made me the way that I am for His purpose. I'm not made to stand shouting that anyone is wrong. I'm made to understand, to share what I know - my experiences and to see into the feelings of others - not to hurt them but to listen and by listening, stand in the middle allowing God to draw them closer to Him.

Yeah.